Have you ever been disappointed because someone didn’t, in your opinion, listen and think about you enough to come up with a nicer gift? Whether it’s flowers or diamonds, yard work or massages, you don’t think you are so hard to give to if others would just put in the effort to think.
Which, I have to say is true, but not going to happen. The ultimate result you want is the gift, so why not help others out by making a list or chart. I’m thinking more on the lines of 5 things your spouse/friend/whatever-you-call-them can do for you each month. They get to choose one of the activities/gifts each week. It’s a win-win = you don’t know exactly what is coming but you know you’ll love it and they are sure to please you, which is what they are striving for in the first place.
Here are some examples:
FEB: 1. Volunteer for a charity
2. Go to a matinee
3. Breakfast in bed plus clean up
4. Draw a bath
5. Give CD or iTunes of favorite music
MAR: 1. Clean light fixtures and ceiling fans
2. Send a funny card
3. Tour “memory lane”
4. Bring you your favorite drink
5. Professional shampoo and style
APR: 1. Bring a friend to town
2. Do one of your chores
3. Play a board game
4. Buy/borrow a book
5. Massage
Feel free to repeat your favorite things on your list in different months. If you want flowers once a month, but sure to put it on there each time. Make sure the activities and gifts are within your budget and things that will really make a difference in your day and spirit. You don’t have to be typical. A friend of mine gets all hot when her hubby cleans the garage – no kidding! So make each choice count. You can give them more choices if you want each month if you are really creative but know that only one will be done each week (or whatever you as a couple decide the frequency will be).
You should make a separate list for birthday, Mother’s Day, whatever holiday you celebrate in December, that can also be shared with anyone else who might buy you something (Mom, In-Law, Sibling). Who knows, they may pick up something off season for a good discount, so put those Jimmy Choo shoes and trip to Paris on there without blinking an eye.
It’s not your job to worry about how they will accomplish the wish list tasks. You are only to be grateful each and every time you receive, and then pass along the overflowing love.
I know you are thinking, “But, I’m still doing all the brain work and they get off easy.” Okay, so what? You’re getting very little now so I can’t see how them following your directions is going to make you worse off. The only factor is the actual action. That you can’t do and if they can’t seem to get themselves together enough to show you appreciation in the exact manner you want to receive it, then there are other issues you need to address in your relationship. Either way, you’re going to know more about yourself and your partner.
Enjoy making your list. Be excited when you give it to your partner because you really are giving them a very personal gift….insight into your happiness.
Heather
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Giving Praise
Last night I was running errands and stopped in at Sephora in JCPenney to pick up a free eye cream sample from the coupon I received in the mail. This was at 8:40pm and they were closing at 9. I had planned on just sweeping in to get my sample and bolting out to do more errands at Target. (Obviously, I had no children with me. Wed night is my night out to dink around.)
Well, I didn’t leave until 9:20. Julie, the wonderful girl at Sephora, was so pleasant and helpful that she and I chatted about skin care and perfume for 40 minutes! She answered all my questions about the Korres line (it’s all natural) and recommended other products for my beauty issues (like the lip gloss from Juicy if you have flakey lips – gives you a slight mint plump too) and which fragrances really stay on and which smell like your great grandma. All the while, Julie made up tons of samples for me to take home and try.
This was an example of super-over-the-top customer service! So today I called her manager, Kathy, at the store as well as left a compliment on the corporate website. I wanted those in charge to know how great of an employee they have.
We can all find the time to register a complaint, but how often do you take the extra minute to return the go-beyond treatment someone gave you? Whether the sales/customer service rep works on commission or not (Sephora does not) doesn’t matter. All people want to be recognized for their good work and money isn’t recognition.
When I worked at the Brass Buckle (now just The Buckle) in high school, I had the lowest sales on my team. I rarely ever made enough in sales to bonus above the legal minimum wage of $3/hr. But, I also had the lowest returns in the company. My customers were always very satisfied because I was nice and honest. I was proud when the company reports would come in…though I was told to try to sell more.
Your challenge for this week is to pay it forward with compliments. Look people in the eye, stop, and sincerely speak to them. Call or send notes to managers and corporate offices. Pass along this challenge to all your friends. Let’s lift the spirits of those who service us! Be the pebble that starts the wave!!
Heather
Well, I didn’t leave until 9:20. Julie, the wonderful girl at Sephora, was so pleasant and helpful that she and I chatted about skin care and perfume for 40 minutes! She answered all my questions about the Korres line (it’s all natural) and recommended other products for my beauty issues (like the lip gloss from Juicy if you have flakey lips – gives you a slight mint plump too) and which fragrances really stay on and which smell like your great grandma. All the while, Julie made up tons of samples for me to take home and try.
This was an example of super-over-the-top customer service! So today I called her manager, Kathy, at the store as well as left a compliment on the corporate website. I wanted those in charge to know how great of an employee they have.
We can all find the time to register a complaint, but how often do you take the extra minute to return the go-beyond treatment someone gave you? Whether the sales/customer service rep works on commission or not (Sephora does not) doesn’t matter. All people want to be recognized for their good work and money isn’t recognition.
When I worked at the Brass Buckle (now just The Buckle) in high school, I had the lowest sales on my team. I rarely ever made enough in sales to bonus above the legal minimum wage of $3/hr. But, I also had the lowest returns in the company. My customers were always very satisfied because I was nice and honest. I was proud when the company reports would come in…though I was told to try to sell more.
Your challenge for this week is to pay it forward with compliments. Look people in the eye, stop, and sincerely speak to them. Call or send notes to managers and corporate offices. Pass along this challenge to all your friends. Let’s lift the spirits of those who service us! Be the pebble that starts the wave!!
Heather
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Core Training Bragging
On Monday of this week I started a Core Training class at the Community Center. On Mondays we do Power Yoga, Wednesdays are stomach and back strength training, and Fridays are whole body strength training. The crazy part is that the class is at 5:45am and it’s only 2 above zero right now here. I am NOT a morning person so this class is a huge commitment for me. And I’m excited as heck for it! I look forward to bundling myself up and driving to class with my red eyes.
I love taking classes with an instructor. Someone who can tweak my form and push me harder than I would on my own. Would I get up and go to the gym at dawn by myself? NO. But knowing I can rely on someone else to motivate and push me is a wonderful feeling. I love working out with other people. I didn’t love seeing how out of shape I was. My husband was very nice and said that was the point of the class, to show a marked improvement.
It’s been a week since many of you looked at 2010 and made new plans. How are you doing? Do you have someone to push and motivate you? Are you bragging to anyone?
(Screeching wheels) What? Bragging? You read that right. Are you bragging to your peeps about how great each step you are taking is going? If not, why? You can’t expect people to think you’re great if you don’t tell them what you are doing that is great. Let them take on the task of supporting you, giving you kudos, being excited about your new talent, telling you the wagon is better than the hard ground, distracting you from that cigarette…. Let them help you reach your goals.
Here are my brags for today:
1. I’ve arrived early to both my classes this week and enjoyed getting my butt kicked because I can feel the pain in my muscles and know I’m stronger already.
2. I painted stripes in my bathroom which needed many touch ups (I’m not a painting pro) but look fabulous now.
3. I spent last night reading all evening. No cleaning or chores, not even dinner….just me in bed with the new Dan Brown book not worrying about the blizzard outside. A rare treat I wasn’t going to pass up!
What are your goals? What are you going to brag about today? Toot your own horn (not your kid’s)!!! You deserve it. It will take some practice because women are not used to bragging about ourselves. It’s training we never received growing up, to our detriment. But this is a new year, a fresh start, and you can do it if you really want to. I really want to strengthen my muscles so it’s not an issue getting up this time. It’s been an issue the first 37 years of my life but this time is different in my soul. Be honest with yourself. You are made of greatness in your own way and we all need to know how wonderful you are. BRAG TODAY!
I love taking classes with an instructor. Someone who can tweak my form and push me harder than I would on my own. Would I get up and go to the gym at dawn by myself? NO. But knowing I can rely on someone else to motivate and push me is a wonderful feeling. I love working out with other people. I didn’t love seeing how out of shape I was. My husband was very nice and said that was the point of the class, to show a marked improvement.
It’s been a week since many of you looked at 2010 and made new plans. How are you doing? Do you have someone to push and motivate you? Are you bragging to anyone?
(Screeching wheels) What? Bragging? You read that right. Are you bragging to your peeps about how great each step you are taking is going? If not, why? You can’t expect people to think you’re great if you don’t tell them what you are doing that is great. Let them take on the task of supporting you, giving you kudos, being excited about your new talent, telling you the wagon is better than the hard ground, distracting you from that cigarette…. Let them help you reach your goals.
Here are my brags for today:
1. I’ve arrived early to both my classes this week and enjoyed getting my butt kicked because I can feel the pain in my muscles and know I’m stronger already.
2. I painted stripes in my bathroom which needed many touch ups (I’m not a painting pro) but look fabulous now.
3. I spent last night reading all evening. No cleaning or chores, not even dinner….just me in bed with the new Dan Brown book not worrying about the blizzard outside. A rare treat I wasn’t going to pass up!
What are your goals? What are you going to brag about today? Toot your own horn (not your kid’s)!!! You deserve it. It will take some practice because women are not used to bragging about ourselves. It’s training we never received growing up, to our detriment. But this is a new year, a fresh start, and you can do it if you really want to. I really want to strengthen my muscles so it’s not an issue getting up this time. It’s been an issue the first 37 years of my life but this time is different in my soul. Be honest with yourself. You are made of greatness in your own way and we all need to know how wonderful you are. BRAG TODAY!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
New Years - UGH!
Are you dreading tomorrow? Do you want to just slap the next person who asks you what your resolutions are? Is it even worth getting a babysitter to go out?
Hey, I hear you! New Years can be filled with just as much pressure as Christmas and Thanksgiving. People are expecting you to be grand and giddy and you just want to acci-purposely take an extra sleeping pill.
Let me tell you a secret. I do my resolutions when the new school year starts, so Friday is only going to be a checkup. Here’s my resolution list and my double check:
A: take what I have and enhance it = this means that I’m grateful for what I’ve been given and will run with those gifts.
For example, I can put on muscle like crazy, but don’t have the lungs for running. So, I’m going to focus on getting a really cut body. I won’t give up on cardio but I’m not going to judge myself against my best friend because she’s a marathoner.
B: passion, passion, passion every day!
This is passion as a life force. Pure enjoyment of my environment. You can’t possibly give joy to others if you are not overflowing in it yourself. I’m going to paint in my house, wear more jewelry, try cooking and eating new foods, find a way to link my teaching skills into a service, and do a core training class just to be sure my life is juicy every day.
C: Slow down and throw out = Double check
1. Is this (whatever activity or person) bringing or fulfilling passion for me?
2. Is this (blank) helping me reach my personal goals? It could be a great deal or opportunity, but is it sidetracking or pushing me forward?
3. Is it scary? If so, I’m probably on the right track.
Let’s be honest, if you are really passionate about something, you’ll do it. Nothing can stop you. But if your heart and soul aren’t in it then it means you are trying to live up to someone else’s goals for you. I don’t care what it is, weight, smoking, spending, cleaning, if you tackle it like a kid, focused and determined while having fun, you can do it. If you feel you “have to” and its drudgery then you’ll hate every minute and quit by February.
When you love who you are, your love will overflow to everyone else. The one drop can become a tidal wave. That’s the real goal of 2010! And yes, the babysitter is SO worth it.
Hey, I hear you! New Years can be filled with just as much pressure as Christmas and Thanksgiving. People are expecting you to be grand and giddy and you just want to acci-purposely take an extra sleeping pill.
Let me tell you a secret. I do my resolutions when the new school year starts, so Friday is only going to be a checkup. Here’s my resolution list and my double check:
A: take what I have and enhance it = this means that I’m grateful for what I’ve been given and will run with those gifts.
For example, I can put on muscle like crazy, but don’t have the lungs for running. So, I’m going to focus on getting a really cut body. I won’t give up on cardio but I’m not going to judge myself against my best friend because she’s a marathoner.
B: passion, passion, passion every day!
This is passion as a life force. Pure enjoyment of my environment. You can’t possibly give joy to others if you are not overflowing in it yourself. I’m going to paint in my house, wear more jewelry, try cooking and eating new foods, find a way to link my teaching skills into a service, and do a core training class just to be sure my life is juicy every day.
C: Slow down and throw out = Double check
1. Is this (whatever activity or person) bringing or fulfilling passion for me?
2. Is this (blank) helping me reach my personal goals? It could be a great deal or opportunity, but is it sidetracking or pushing me forward?
3. Is it scary? If so, I’m probably on the right track.
Let’s be honest, if you are really passionate about something, you’ll do it. Nothing can stop you. But if your heart and soul aren’t in it then it means you are trying to live up to someone else’s goals for you. I don’t care what it is, weight, smoking, spending, cleaning, if you tackle it like a kid, focused and determined while having fun, you can do it. If you feel you “have to” and its drudgery then you’ll hate every minute and quit by February.
When you love who you are, your love will overflow to everyone else. The one drop can become a tidal wave. That’s the real goal of 2010! And yes, the babysitter is SO worth it.
Friday, December 18, 2009
A Different Disney
Last night we went to see Disney’s new movie, “Princess and the Frog”. This film is about a servant’s daughter, Tiana, in New Orleans. Her daddy had a dream of opening a restaurant, and when he passed away, the dream became hers. She always worked 2 jobs to save money to buy the sugar mill and restore it to fulfill her dream, even when her friends were begging her to go out. Of course, there is a prince. But here he is plum broke and quite lazy; though full of suave charm and love of life.
What I loved about this movie:
1. The heroine is black. Besides Pocahontas and Mulan, this is a huge diversion off the Disney princess usual carriage route. Tiana is kind, fair, hard working and quite sassy.
2. It’s set in New Orleans, so you get to learn about a bit of American culture = the people, habits, architecture, food, customs, and languages.
3. The underlying theme is that people and family are more important than money. Tiana learns that all work and no play are just as bad as the prince who learns that all play gets you nothing. Dreaming combined with dedication is needed to aspire….but if you have no friends or family to share your success with, life is very hollow.
Of course, my kids’ favorite was the line was from Ray, the firefly, “Don’t you make me light up my butt!” Can’t beat basic humor with them.
No matter the age, elementary to high school, I think this is a good movie for you to open up discussions with your children about money, customs, our country’s sordid history, human rights, working hard for a goal, and choosing friends.
What I loved about this movie:
1. The heroine is black. Besides Pocahontas and Mulan, this is a huge diversion off the Disney princess usual carriage route. Tiana is kind, fair, hard working and quite sassy.
2. It’s set in New Orleans, so you get to learn about a bit of American culture = the people, habits, architecture, food, customs, and languages.
3. The underlying theme is that people and family are more important than money. Tiana learns that all work and no play are just as bad as the prince who learns that all play gets you nothing. Dreaming combined with dedication is needed to aspire….but if you have no friends or family to share your success with, life is very hollow.
Of course, my kids’ favorite was the line was from Ray, the firefly, “Don’t you make me light up my butt!” Can’t beat basic humor with them.
No matter the age, elementary to high school, I think this is a good movie for you to open up discussions with your children about money, customs, our country’s sordid history, human rights, working hard for a goal, and choosing friends.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Trust Your Gut
Yesterday I went to my post-operation check up. My surgeon asked how I was doing (feeling great), if I was taking it easy (ummmm, can you define “easy”), and if I’ve tested out the system with pizza (no, lasagna). I got a big check mark of health and my scars (there are 4) are healing okay. Then came the pathology report.
“Well, it says here that you had chronic inflammation and stones. I’m glad you made the decision to have us proceed. You must have been in some pain for a long time.”
I so badly wanted to say, “No sh*t Sherlock” but I refrained. He’s a nice man. Neither the swelling nor stones showed up on the ultrasound before the surgery, so forcing him to take my money and remove my gall bladder was strictly my doing. Woo Hoo – I’m not a crazy hypochondriac! And it’s not just A) stress, B) too much junk food, or C) too much liquor in college. Okay, I’ll give you the stress, but otherwise I eat a lot of organic foods and, believe it or not, didn’t drink in college, not even much pop.
What this is telling me and you is that as women we have a 6th sense and we need to follow it. Call it women’s intuition, gut feelings, instinct, para-normal, mother nature, whatever….we all know we have the ability to tune in and we need to pay heed to it more often. I knew there was something wrong with my body and I had to go to the extreme surgery to prove it.
I believe that sometimes we become so strong on the outside, especially to others looking at us, that we forget to pay attention to our insides. Not just our physical, but mental and emotional too. As you are reading this, start at the top of your head and work down, asking yourself “How does this feel?” Make an inventory of yourself. When you are done, make some appointments to correct/discover what isn’t right. If you regular doctor isn’t helpful, try an alternative. Be sure your hormones are level, your back is aligned, and your body is detoxed. Those three things are your solid foundation.
Trust yourself! You know you the best. There is no trophy for being in pain the longest, whether physical or emotion. It doesn’t make you a better mother or woman. I am learning the hard way about taking care of myself first, so if you can learn from my mistakes, all the better. I am rewarding myself tomorrow with a concert by Stephen Lynch. I plan to laugh for hours and flood my body with good, healing endorphins. Cheers to the power of laughter!!
“Well, it says here that you had chronic inflammation and stones. I’m glad you made the decision to have us proceed. You must have been in some pain for a long time.”
I so badly wanted to say, “No sh*t Sherlock” but I refrained. He’s a nice man. Neither the swelling nor stones showed up on the ultrasound before the surgery, so forcing him to take my money and remove my gall bladder was strictly my doing. Woo Hoo – I’m not a crazy hypochondriac! And it’s not just A) stress, B) too much junk food, or C) too much liquor in college. Okay, I’ll give you the stress, but otherwise I eat a lot of organic foods and, believe it or not, didn’t drink in college, not even much pop.
What this is telling me and you is that as women we have a 6th sense and we need to follow it. Call it women’s intuition, gut feelings, instinct, para-normal, mother nature, whatever….we all know we have the ability to tune in and we need to pay heed to it more often. I knew there was something wrong with my body and I had to go to the extreme surgery to prove it.
I believe that sometimes we become so strong on the outside, especially to others looking at us, that we forget to pay attention to our insides. Not just our physical, but mental and emotional too. As you are reading this, start at the top of your head and work down, asking yourself “How does this feel?” Make an inventory of yourself. When you are done, make some appointments to correct/discover what isn’t right. If you regular doctor isn’t helpful, try an alternative. Be sure your hormones are level, your back is aligned, and your body is detoxed. Those three things are your solid foundation.
Trust yourself! You know you the best. There is no trophy for being in pain the longest, whether physical or emotion. It doesn’t make you a better mother or woman. I am learning the hard way about taking care of myself first, so if you can learn from my mistakes, all the better. I am rewarding myself tomorrow with a concert by Stephen Lynch. I plan to laugh for hours and flood my body with good, healing endorphins. Cheers to the power of laughter!!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Simple Holiday
Well, it’s that time of year again. The hustle and bustle of the holidays tends to overshadow what the holidays are actually about = peace and giving. We are bombarded with a media blitz on the perfect table, perfect meal, perfect gift, perfect families who have perfect personalities…..But when asked “What is your favorite memory or tradition of the holidays?” it’s never any of those media “perfect” things. You hear a lot of “baking cookies with my mom”, “stringing popcorn on the tree”, “going to midnight service on Christmas Eve”, “the smell of the tree nursery”, “serving dinner for the homeless”, “playing cards until past midnight with my uncles”, “my grandma’s spiced apples and cider”.
We all say the holidays aren’t about money, but let’s not fool ourselves. Buying becomes a duty, rather than an inspiration of love. Spending money or lack of money is always on the brain. Kids may understand that the gift they want is out of the budget, but that doesn’t hide their disappointment. If there are divorced parents, many times the holidays are a competition for time and presents.
Collectively we can call a stop to the madness! We’ve just now skipped into December and you can start new traditions now. Think about your most wonderful memories. Now, think about the things that will need to change so you can incorporate the traditions you really love. Something has to be let go! Probably many things need to be let go if we’re being honest with ourselves. And nothing has to be in stone – you can try something else next year. Call a Cease Fire. Do some yoga and simplify.
Here are a few things we do with our family:
*Our kids get 3 gifts and a stocking. One from Santa (unwrapped), one from Mom and Dad, and one from siblings.
*We try to watch the 25 days of Christmas on ABC or supplement with our own videos.
*We cut out, bake, and decorate cookies with real pastry bags of frosting. Yes, it’s a mess, but the rule is you get to eat the broken cookies and every year there are pictures of dark colored tongues.
*Cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning, which is spent alone at our house if at all possible, in PJ’s all day.
*We “adopt” foster children and load them up with the winter essentials and small toys.
*Check out holiday books from the library (okay, and buy from B&N, I’m a sucker for books). The Polar Express is still the favorite.
* I always loved spending the night with cousins after Christmas, playing with everyone’s new toys, and now my children are doing it. I love to watch them get excited about being with their cousins.
*Eating Kringles, Leftsa, German Almond cookies, Chow Mein cookies, and almond dipped pretzels.
*Going to see the Trans Syberian Orchestra.
*My mother-in-law’s side of the family do Christmas in the summer or fall. Everyone can fly/drive in nice weather and less risk of illness thwarting the fun.
Let me know what traditions you love, what you are proudly ditching, and maybe what things you want to start this year. We can all come together, share ideas, and make the holidays about peace and giving to ourselves as well as others.
We all say the holidays aren’t about money, but let’s not fool ourselves. Buying becomes a duty, rather than an inspiration of love. Spending money or lack of money is always on the brain. Kids may understand that the gift they want is out of the budget, but that doesn’t hide their disappointment. If there are divorced parents, many times the holidays are a competition for time and presents.
Collectively we can call a stop to the madness! We’ve just now skipped into December and you can start new traditions now. Think about your most wonderful memories. Now, think about the things that will need to change so you can incorporate the traditions you really love. Something has to be let go! Probably many things need to be let go if we’re being honest with ourselves. And nothing has to be in stone – you can try something else next year. Call a Cease Fire. Do some yoga and simplify.
Here are a few things we do with our family:
*Our kids get 3 gifts and a stocking. One from Santa (unwrapped), one from Mom and Dad, and one from siblings.
*We try to watch the 25 days of Christmas on ABC or supplement with our own videos.
*We cut out, bake, and decorate cookies with real pastry bags of frosting. Yes, it’s a mess, but the rule is you get to eat the broken cookies and every year there are pictures of dark colored tongues.
*Cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning, which is spent alone at our house if at all possible, in PJ’s all day.
*We “adopt” foster children and load them up with the winter essentials and small toys.
*Check out holiday books from the library (okay, and buy from B&N, I’m a sucker for books). The Polar Express is still the favorite.
* I always loved spending the night with cousins after Christmas, playing with everyone’s new toys, and now my children are doing it. I love to watch them get excited about being with their cousins.
*Eating Kringles, Leftsa, German Almond cookies, Chow Mein cookies, and almond dipped pretzels.
*Going to see the Trans Syberian Orchestra.
*My mother-in-law’s side of the family do Christmas in the summer or fall. Everyone can fly/drive in nice weather and less risk of illness thwarting the fun.
Let me know what traditions you love, what you are proudly ditching, and maybe what things you want to start this year. We can all come together, share ideas, and make the holidays about peace and giving to ourselves as well as others.
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