Well, this has been quite the week! I’m amazed at how much junk I collect just because I can’t let go of the “Perfect Wife and Mother” title and the “always-be-prepared-so-keep-everything” motto. I wish I could say “my recycling boxes are full to the brim, my shredder’s motor is whining from overuse, and there is a pile in my basement waiting for Big Brother Big Sisters to pick up” but I can’t. I started with the overgrown vinca in my front yard and that project alone took most of the week. Manual labor isn’t easy to do when you must keep stopping to take care of your child’s needs. So, I’m adjusting. My goals are still there, new due dates are set, and 49 more things will be throw out little by little.
Mentally and emotionally, this goal to chuck 50 things is in no way an easy project to do. I needed a little shove, so I took my mortgage payment and divide it by my square footage. It’s an eye opener to see how much you are paying each month to store (more like horde) stuff. Now those old job files and college textbooks that are were costing me $75 a month are not looking so much like cherishable items. I want them gone and serenity is in their places. I want peace. I want the freedom to be the real me.
As promised, here are some goals of my mom cohorts:
GOAL: Run a marathon
STEPS: she found one for a charity she was passionate about and signed up (the first big hurtle). Now she’s getting donations and training each day, no matter what time she can get out of the house. Its half way across the country and she’s decided she doesn’t want anyone there at the finish line because this is her run, her goal, and will be her triumph. DUE: October 2009
GOAL: Visit Italy
STEPS: she’s adjusted her budget and giving up some of the extra things (like lattes) so she can watch her vacation nest egg grow. She’s bought the travel books and once a week studies a new part of the country. She’s not leaving for another year, but has borrowed videos from the library and has started to learn the language.
DUE: September 2010
GOAL: Taking a stripper’s pole dancing class.
STEPS: this isn’t offered in her town, so a mini vacation and on-line ordering are necessary. She wants to feel sexy, and have the amazing strength and flexibility to do the moves. She has bought some yoga and Pilate videos to start her training. (The poles are portable so your grandma won’t see it when she visits if you don’t want.)
DUE: January 2010
GOAL: Starting her own business.
STEPS: she has the background info of costs of inventory, lease and utilities, insurance, wages for employees, etc… At this time, it’s not financially feasible, but her goal is to have her store open by her 45th birthday, when her kids are old enough to have different daily care and she can be at her store.
DUE: June 2014
GOAL: Obtaining a master’s degree.
STEPS: she is taking classes, one at a time, each fall semester while her children are young. In two years, she’ll increase that to one each semester. With books, each class costs approximately $1000, so she is paying each class as it comes with money she is making part time. She has 1 of 13 classes done.
DUE: May 2012
GOAL: Gardening.
STEPS: each winter she plans for spending her $50 budget. She knows what colors and heights she needs, and scours the Internet to find just the perfect plants. Sometimes she buys locally, sometimes more exotic, but she adds something new each planting season according to the map she drew up 4 years ago of her dream garden.
DUE: continuous
GOAL: Write a story that could be made into a screenplay.
STEPS: her goal is to write two paragraphs each day. Some days she can get in a whole chapter of thoughts. Next Christmas is her finish goal to send it to an agent.
DUE: December 2009
GOAL: Get a boob job.
STEPS: she has researched on the internet (Nicole’s site www.implantinfo.com is her favorite) and interviewed many women. She is saving her money and will schedule the appointment to have surgery on her 40th birthday, when she no longer will have as much of the daily carrying of her child or their equipment. She isn’t looking to be porn star big, just to get back what she lost and perk her “girls” up.
DUE: May 2009
GOAL: Take a spa retreat.
STEPS: This mom has been researching packages from different locations, comparing services that are included, services that are “add-ons”, prices, ease and expense of travel, activities offered, and menus. She’s been asking for money for her birthday and Christmas, instead of gifts, for 3 years and will be able to take her retreat in the fall once her last child is in school full time.
DUE: September 2011
GOAL: Shed the SPED weight.
STEPS: she calls it that because it’s more than baby weight. Her child needs round the clock care and she can’t get out to work it off as a single mom. She found a personal trainer at her church who is donating their time to her once a month. During the workouts at her home, she receives the proper way to do the exercises and a list of sneaky ways to fit it all in during a typical day (which we know isn’t by any means “typical” when her autistic son changes his preference of color out of left field and she doesn’t have any of the new color readily available in food choices – what lunch is available in carnation blue?). So far, she’s 4 pounds closer to her goal.
DUE: ongoing until she reaches her magic number (which I didn’t ask)
Whatever your dreams may be, turn them into goals! Long term or short, you need to have hope in your heart to pull you through the days than can torment your sanity. It is easier to believe in yourself when you have accomplishments under your belt. If you feel like a failure, you are going to act like one. Yes, that’s harsh, but I’m not here to pussy-foot around with you.
Before you begin writing goals, list out all of your accomplishments for today, this week, this year. Did you get out of bed? Did you successfully get everyone to school or therapy? Did you not run away screaming? Write it all down!!! Reread your list every day. Believe in yourself! I believe in you!!
Now for your goals….
Your Goal: ___________________________________________
Step 1: ______________________________________________
Step 2: ______________________________________________
Step 3: ______________________________________________
DUE DATE: __________________________________________
Your Goal: ___________________________________________
Step 1: ______________________________________________
Step 2: ______________________________________________
Step 3: ______________________________________________
DUE DATE: __________________________________________
Showing posts with label martyrdom sucks special needs goal plan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label martyrdom sucks special needs goal plan. Show all posts
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Goals
GOALS – THE LOFTIER THE BETTER
“Cautious, careful people always casting about to preserve their reputation or social standards never can bring about reform. Those who are really in earnest are willing to be anything or nothing in the world’s estimation…and bear the consequences.”
-Susan B. Anthony
Goals. You need them more than the average person. Some days the goal is to not collapse. Some days to not drain your bank account and run away. Those are very worthy goals but short term (though it feels like an eternity that day) in the grand scheme of life. I want you to just sit for a few silent minutes of no TV, no kids, no dog, no partner, no washing machine, and no cell phone. Now close your eyes. Dream. It doesn’t matter if your dreams seem unrealistic or how big or small they are. They’re your dreams….let them flow!
“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” — Gloria Steinem
You may have to do this exercise outside of your home or job. I use my minivan a lot for thinking – just pull over (someplace safe, please) and write. Are you ready? Here we go!
1. What do you want to accomplish?
2. What would you like to try (just try, not become an expert)?
3. What do you look like doing those things?
Picture exactly what you are wearing, what the weather is like, how much light there is, what your muscles feel like doing the activity, your breathing, what can you smell, what do your fingertips and toes touch, what is the taste in your mouth. Become alive inside of your dream. Make it real.
Now write it all down (better to open your eyes for this). Every detail goes on the paper. For each dream, start a new sheet of paper (sorry to Mother Earth and the trees, but this is your life or death moment – you will die on the inside if you don’t have dreams and goals).
The difference between a dream and a goal are action steps. Dreams don’t come true unless you make an effort. Mini steps get you moving forward. There doesn’t have to be a rigid time frame, because in reality, we don’t know exactly what’s coming up for our kids (another luxury your “average” parents have in their blessings column) but you can work towards a date and adjust as needed down the line. The important thing is the Goal Due Date is set and the mini steps are laid out.
For example: if you want to visit Paris next year your first step is to set the date of your departure. Next answer the “who, what, and where”. Do you want to take someone with you? (You don’t have to, it’s not a law) Studying the travel books can give you ideas of where you’d like to stay and what you want to see. Some people like to work backwards on the calendar = double check travel arrangements one week out, pre-pack two weeks out, travel supplies bought 1 month out, your passport needs to be updated or applied for at least 4 months out, reservations at hotels or B&B’s at least 6 months out, budget made 9 to 12 months out, get advice from a travel agent, etc…
Is it unreasonable that you could be in Paris next year? Hell no! If that’s what you want, make it happen. Highlight this : Goals don’t have to be about saving the whole world. They just need to be about saving your soul through the journey of reaching outside of yourself. Notice, it’s not about what others want, or about rushing to get to the end just to check it off our To-Do list. Goals are personal growth. The whole point is PLEASURE. It may take a little grunt work, but the uncontained joy and inner peace is worth it.
Next week I’ll show you some goals of other moms just like you. Are they monumental? Only to the individuals who made them. I want to share their goals because sometimes just thinking about taking on a new project seems daunting and I want you to see and feel how wonderful you are by taking the first steps.
Here is my goal : Finish chapter 28 “Mt. Everest = your To File pile; Getting Organized” of my book, Martyrdom Sucks, by the end of April. In order to do that I need to throw out 50 things! Yeah, you read FIFTY. And its 50 different things….50 paperclips don’t count. There is a super book and website dedicated to chucking physical and mental junk. Gail, the author, is a dream because she is honest about our clutter crap and how to get rid of it. If you’re like me and feel you need a little detox, check out Gail at http://www.throwoutfiftythings.com/.
Remember, goals are personal pleasure vehicles. You aren’t making goals for your kids or any other person or group (husband, mom, church, etc…). Goals are only for you, by you, in celebration of you. Share them with your best friend, your kids, and me! I look forward to hearing from you!!
Heather
“Cautious, careful people always casting about to preserve their reputation or social standards never can bring about reform. Those who are really in earnest are willing to be anything or nothing in the world’s estimation…and bear the consequences.”
-Susan B. Anthony
Goals. You need them more than the average person. Some days the goal is to not collapse. Some days to not drain your bank account and run away. Those are very worthy goals but short term (though it feels like an eternity that day) in the grand scheme of life. I want you to just sit for a few silent minutes of no TV, no kids, no dog, no partner, no washing machine, and no cell phone. Now close your eyes. Dream. It doesn’t matter if your dreams seem unrealistic or how big or small they are. They’re your dreams….let them flow!
“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” — Gloria Steinem
You may have to do this exercise outside of your home or job. I use my minivan a lot for thinking – just pull over (someplace safe, please) and write. Are you ready? Here we go!
1. What do you want to accomplish?
2. What would you like to try (just try, not become an expert)?
3. What do you look like doing those things?
Picture exactly what you are wearing, what the weather is like, how much light there is, what your muscles feel like doing the activity, your breathing, what can you smell, what do your fingertips and toes touch, what is the taste in your mouth. Become alive inside of your dream. Make it real.
Now write it all down (better to open your eyes for this). Every detail goes on the paper. For each dream, start a new sheet of paper (sorry to Mother Earth and the trees, but this is your life or death moment – you will die on the inside if you don’t have dreams and goals).
The difference between a dream and a goal are action steps. Dreams don’t come true unless you make an effort. Mini steps get you moving forward. There doesn’t have to be a rigid time frame, because in reality, we don’t know exactly what’s coming up for our kids (another luxury your “average” parents have in their blessings column) but you can work towards a date and adjust as needed down the line. The important thing is the Goal Due Date is set and the mini steps are laid out.
For example: if you want to visit Paris next year your first step is to set the date of your departure. Next answer the “who, what, and where”. Do you want to take someone with you? (You don’t have to, it’s not a law) Studying the travel books can give you ideas of where you’d like to stay and what you want to see. Some people like to work backwards on the calendar = double check travel arrangements one week out, pre-pack two weeks out, travel supplies bought 1 month out, your passport needs to be updated or applied for at least 4 months out, reservations at hotels or B&B’s at least 6 months out, budget made 9 to 12 months out, get advice from a travel agent, etc…
Is it unreasonable that you could be in Paris next year? Hell no! If that’s what you want, make it happen. Highlight this : Goals don’t have to be about saving the whole world. They just need to be about saving your soul through the journey of reaching outside of yourself. Notice, it’s not about what others want, or about rushing to get to the end just to check it off our To-Do list. Goals are personal growth. The whole point is PLEASURE. It may take a little grunt work, but the uncontained joy and inner peace is worth it.
Next week I’ll show you some goals of other moms just like you. Are they monumental? Only to the individuals who made them. I want to share their goals because sometimes just thinking about taking on a new project seems daunting and I want you to see and feel how wonderful you are by taking the first steps.
Here is my goal : Finish chapter 28 “Mt. Everest = your To File pile; Getting Organized” of my book, Martyrdom Sucks, by the end of April. In order to do that I need to throw out 50 things! Yeah, you read FIFTY. And its 50 different things….50 paperclips don’t count. There is a super book and website dedicated to chucking physical and mental junk. Gail, the author, is a dream because she is honest about our clutter crap and how to get rid of it. If you’re like me and feel you need a little detox, check out Gail at http://www.throwoutfiftythings.com/.
Remember, goals are personal pleasure vehicles. You aren’t making goals for your kids or any other person or group (husband, mom, church, etc…). Goals are only for you, by you, in celebration of you. Share them with your best friend, your kids, and me! I look forward to hearing from you!!
Heather
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